Some of us are coming around the corner of the first month of quarantine (social distancing) with our kids and parents have received some news they never thought they'd hear, K-12 schools are closed for the rest of the school year due to COVID-19. Many of us are trying to wrap our brain around the virus that has essentially shut down the entire world while also trying to maintain our sanity at home on quarantine, get work done for our jobs that have allowed us to work from home and find the space to breathe. It is a lot of juggle in a season that feels uncertain and anxious and overwhelming. Many moms are trying to find the self in self care while also providing some type of normalcy for their children who are now asking a million questions about why school is closed, why can't they play with their friends and what exactly is the coronavirus anyway. As we navigate our way through the answers and the exhale all while trying to see the beauty in what God is doing in stopping time, I wanted to share 5 ways to navigate the COVID-19 quarantine with your kids.
Make a schedule
While I know this will be a little difficult for moms of infants, children older that 2 years old thrive on knowing what their day will be like and what to expect at certain times. One of my favorite curriculums for children 13 months - 24 months is Brightly Beaming Toddler. You can click on a lesson and use the suggestions listed for each lesson. In preschool, kids rotate stations and parents can set up something small (coloring, manipulatives, writing, dance party, singing, an indoor game, story time) and set a time at each station. I used this method with my boys for the weekends and it has been amazing. Sometimes it will run smoothly and sometimes, as we know with toddlers (and all children for that matter), expect the unexpected. For older kids, like my boys who are 5 and 8, I wrote down their school schedule (which is usually listed on their school website for their classroom) and taped it to the wall so they could see it. Because it's a schedule they are already familiar with, it made it easy to transition from one thing to the next while I looked on their google classroom for the assignments they needed to complete. Be sure to include P.E./recess time because depending on where you live, the weather is getting beautiful (despite the pollen that is trying to smack us around) and it’s the perfect weather for these littles to go and run. The main thing to remember is to not marry the schedule but utilize it as your blueprint when you need to redirect your small crew.
“ At the same time it’s important to connect with people you love outside of your house — a friend or other family members — just to give you a change of scenery, some laughter and an ear. No one knows how long this will last so we want to keep the vibes in our house as positive as possible.”
2. Refocus and renew your mind
My faith is very important to me and I lean heavily on the word of God to help me center my spirit in peace, release my anxieties and affirm my mind with words that uplift and encourage. (I’m looking at you Psalm 91). There is a lot of positive vibes and words of healing and peace being spread across social platforms and perhaps even in your inner circles. We are more centered on being vessels of light and love to those around us as we all navigate this time the best we can with whatever words of strength we can grab. So maybe that looks like reading an inspirational book. One of my favorites has been Soothe Your Nerves- The Black Woman’s Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Anxiety, Panic, and Fear by Dr. Angela Neal- Barnett. What a title right? Or maybe it's a playlist full of songs that bring joy and life and eases your spirit. If you have spotify, last year they did top songs of 2019 that you listened to and hearing our favorite songs from last year might just be the medicine we need. Perhaps that looks like getting up, getting dressed like you are going to go somewhere and just enjoy prancing around the house in something cute. Last week I totally put on a jumpsuit I bought in January thinking I would be able to frolic around the earth in it by April and here we are frolicking from the living room to the kitchen. On a FaceTime call my friend asked, ummm friend, where are you going? Her face was hilarious but it actually made my mind and mood shift and I enjoyed it. Or maybe it's a guided meditation. Sometimes the best thing to help us refocus and renew our mind is to just find a quiet place (the closet, the bathroom) and just do 1 minute of intentional breathing.
3. Don't isolate in isolation
We are in a shelter in place, social distance time period and depending on your personality type this is either a reflection of your regular life (introvert) or this is unfamiliar territory you don't understand why anyone would purposely choose to do (extrovert). Even if you are an introvert, you might find that having everyone at home (partner + kids + other family members) is not the same as you being there without other people. You'll need to recharge from the people in your house and it won't ever feel like enough. I'm speaking from experience. So it's important to find those moments in the day when people are asleep or when you can tuck away in the bathroom for a shower or bath and just exhale. At the same time it's important to connect with people you love outside of your house -- a friend or other family members -- just to give you a change of scenery, some laughter and an ear. No one knows how long this will last so we want to keep the vibes in our house as positive as possible. Meaning let's not attack those in the space with us and create an environment of contention.
Kite Festival March 7, 2020 (a week before the shutdown)
4. Plan for the meltdowns
Not their meltdowns, YOUR meltdowns. Because at some point you are going to be over and done with "it", no longer can, want to be unbothered and you need to take that into consideration. If you've already had it and you want to do better going forward it's absolutely possible. On the days you are feeling amazing, like you are ready to take on the world, tap into that productivity bug bite and lay the ground work for the future you who won't feel as motivated. That might look like planning out the week, cooking meals for the week, getting something accomplished you've been meaning to do forever like organizing the closets, cleaning the fridge, organizing the bookshelves, donating clothes/toys/books etc; anything taking up space that no longer serves you or can be utilized by you in this current season. I had a brown box in my closet full of sentimental items and I wanted something more functional. So I purchased a storage ottoman and now my most beloved items are stored in something cute and I had a place to sit in my closet to reflect and breathe. I also finally started on a blanket that I bought the fabric for in February 2019 as well as finally putting together a bookshelf I got for Christmas 2019 to store all the books that had been on my nightstand and honestly making me more anxious. If you dive in when you're feeling like you can get it done, when you wake up on the days wondering how we are still in quarantine, you won't additionally be triggered about the *fill in the blank* that needs to get done.
5. Be gracious
The most important thing on this list is to be gracious: with yourself and with those around you. Remember we are all experiencing something we've never experienced, at the same time. No one knows how to be the best at anything in this time of COVID-19 and social distancing. We have no idea how to best structure the day for our children or what impact this will have on them or what impact this will have on us as adults. But what we can count on is that when we extend grace to ourselves and to those around us we will find a way to inhale, exhale press on into another day. You are doing the best you can with what you have and affirming our mind and spirit with words of grace and love is the greatest map to use in order to navigate our way going forward. I continue to think about what our kids will remember from this moment in time and I probably won’t be the chaos of the world that we understand and feel but instead they will remember the time we spent with them, the memories we made, the laughter we shared, the longer hugs and prayers, the meals we ate together, the recipes we made in the kitchen, the peaceful energy in the home, the family walks around the neighborhood. We will remember this as the time the world “shut down” but they will remember it as the time families connected.
Be light, give love, you are doing a beautiful job.
4/5/2020 They already look like they’ve gotten older
